Læseprøve på F*CK RESTRICTIONS – AND YOUR MOM TOO af Victoria Schapiro

INTRODUCTION

Hi, I’m Victoria. A single-minded, self-absorbed, overly-sensitive, perfectionistic plate of shit with a side of victim mentality (if described by my mom). My exes would probably also mention my “tough guy act” and my tendency to overthink everything, but honestly, who gives a shit about them? I at least pretend not to. I usually consider myself a very honest, logical, ambitious, and determined cock-teaser who often finds herself oversharing information about recent sexual experiences. Trust me, there’s nothing that I want more in life than to be mysterious, but I just can’t shut the fuck up, so I might as well write a book exposing myself completely.

My desperate need for male validation and my perfectionist qualities came to bite me in the ass when I developed an eating disorder at fourteen years old. My view on nutrition became extremely distorted which unfolded into dietary restrictions and excessive exercise, that gradually worsened over the five following years. When I finally gained some self-awareness and realized how much the eating disorder had consumed me (ironically enough), I acknowledged that I needed help.

The fact that you’ve picked up this book tells me you have most likely experienced what it’s like to struggle with an eating disorder, or maybe you have witnessed how such an illness changed a loved one and affected their surroundings. Even if this isn’t the case, it is beyond any doubt that you face bullshit myths of diet culture on a daily basis, and that you will recognize many of the scenarios described in this writing. If you resonate with any of my past experiences or harmful behaviors I hope this book will be your wake-up call. If you are a relative of someone struggling with an eating disorder I hope my intention to inform and educate will get across to you.

Please note that this book is not a medical guide. It must not be considered a weight gain guide nor is it a do-it-yourself manual holding valuable advice on how to recover from an eating disorder (let’s be honest: you skim through the typical highly-praised guide to self-improvement and leave it to decompose along with its shitty recommendations and motivational quotes). I must emphasize that F*CK RESTRICTIONS AND YOUR MOM TOO is not intended to describe the correct way to recovery. On the contrary, I want to oppose to the whole notion of “correct” when it comes to healing, overcoming, and coping. This book is simply my personal brain dump, and it is the product of a shit-ton of therapy sessions. It will give you an insight into the thoughts and realizations I had during different stages of my eating disorder and throughout my recovery: from reflections upon the causes of my restrictive eating, to how my eating disorder slowly made me dissolve into being an underweight gunk of numbness, to leaning into recovery, and ultimately, dealing with weight gain and trying to let go of control. This book is my mental declutter and it investigates the most prominent factors of my restrictive eating, and I have found that my unhealthy relationship with food along with its side-effects, including a low sex drive, a change of personality, and social disconnection, are all to blame on one common enemy: my mother.